Mixed Feelings (Empathy in the PPNW Book 1) Page 2

Chapter Two

  My first official notice that there was a world beyond the one humans know (and that it was aware of me) came when I was four years old. I was out in the backyard when I felt emotions different than any I had ever come across. Human emotions, I learned then, have a very specific pattern to them. While describing it to someone who’s never felt someone else's emotions has always been tough, I can say that what I felt was curiosity and, even stronger, hunger. Whatever was coming toward me wanted to learn more about me, and it liked how tasty I smelled.

  Before I could scramble to my feet and run inside to get my mommy, two beings appeared in front of me. From my seat on the grass, they both looked distressingly tall, but only one of them resembled something human. The other had a furry body like a grizzly bear, broad in a way that looked natural rather than as a result of one too many servings of Hansel and Gretel. It had a wide face with tusks protruding downward from under its upper lip, hands the size of scooter tires, and the arms to support them. It was not the one that wanted to eat me; in fact, I could feel nothing coming from that being at all.

  The other was stark white and black, like someone had turned up the saturation on an old movie. There wasn’t a single shade of gray that I could see anywhere on him. His lips, fingernails, eyelashes, and teeth were shiny black like vinyl, while the rest of him was flat white. Under his open black trenchcoat and white outfit, his body was painfully skinny, like a skeleton with an eating disorder. It made his head look too big, despite it being narrow like the rest of him.

  We stared at each other in silence for what felt like ages. Even at four, I could tell you what emotions I liked and which ones I shied away from. Usually amusement made me happy and I wanted to hug the person feeling it so I could take it into myself and laugh along with them. This was much different, the opposite of when I did something silly and it made my mother giggle. This seemed like I was being laughed at and it made me feel bad.

  At some point, I let out a whimper and the skinny one smiled at me, dropping to the grass. His arms and legs bent outward, bony limbs squeezing into impossible angles, leaving his chest close to the ground. When he paused on my left, closing in, I shied away from his face. In that moment I had been convinced I would feel sharp jaws take a chunk out of my arm, but nothing came. I risked a glance just as he slithered a snake’s tongue out to inspect me. I showed remarkable restraint in not peeing my pants.

  “It is not useful.”

  The skinny one looked up as the other monster spoke and nodded. “No. It is not a threat.”

  The tongue darted out again and a hand followed it toward my face. I made a scared squealing sound, still convinced I was about to become something’s breakfast. The hand hovered near my face. I felt the curiosity come at me harder, wrapping around my upper body like a hug from my smelly, bony great-grandmother. The only thing in the world, at that moment, was the bleached white of his tentacular fingers twitching just above my skin. I couldn’t even feel the river of tears soaking my face and shirt.

  “A level three, at best.” The skinny one shifted, standing up to his full height once again, and stared down at me. I whimpered.

  “Child, have you been told what we are?”

  I shook my head. The bigger being lumbered forward and held out a hand. I flinched away but he didn’t try to get any closer. He held his hand there above my head, as if offering to pull me to my feet, but I had no desire to reach for it. The skinny one laughed and it reminded me of a crow’s call. Finally, the furry one spoke again.

  “You are being watched.”

  I didn’t see them again for twenty-five years.

  ***

  While my childhood nightmares were a lot shorter than I remembered, I was still shivering, trying my best to control my bladder as I stared at them from just inside my office doorway. Skinny turned, lifting a brow as he regarded me. Chloe was quiet, nervous energy thrumming through her, hitting me like standing too close to a subwoofer. We were all still and silent, the furry creature staring at Chloe expressionlessly while the other watched me. Furry was still a void to my empathy, but Skinny was predatorily amused at my fear, just like when I’d been small and helpless.

  Some tiny, contrary part of me was instantly irritated by the fact that he was enjoying my terror. It shoved back the fear, making me take stock of the situation. These creatures, whoever or whatever they were, had just appeared in my waiting room without a word. They hadn’t yet offered us any harm, despite the fact that Skinny’s stomach seemed to think we were dinner. I forced myself to rationalize that, had they wanted to hurt us, they would have done so already. The tusks on Furry alone could have gored me half to death.

  Swallowing my panic, I pushed forward, held out a hand, and spoke, my voice only slightly squeakier than usual.

  “Laurel and Hardy, I presume?”

  Surprise blossomed in Chloe like a tiny mushroom cloud as she let out a laugh made of pure, nervous shock. I wasn’t sure if she got the reference to the visually mismatched comedic duo, or if she figured I actually knew these two by name. I didn’t really think it was the time to explain, so I let the nicknames stand. The room was quiet again after that, Skinny staring down at my hand like I’d offered him a jar of baby vomit. Confusion had rumbled into his psyche like a storm and it somehow pulled some measure of calm to life inside me. If he was confused too, then maybe I could use that to get some kind of upper hand. When neither monster seemed interested in shaking, I dropped my arm and turned to meet Chloe’s eyes. She shook her head minutely; she had no idea what was going on, either.

  “We’re here for your assistance,” Hardy said, his bulk brushing Laurel’s coat as he stepped around his skinny partner toward Chloe. She hopped back, holding her hands up.

  “Not me,” she said quickly. Laurel turned to her, baring his black teeth in frustration. Before he could protest, Chloe pointed at me, panic making her psyche spark like fireworks. “She’s the one with the superpower. I’m just the assistant.”

  Both creatures turned to me and I flinched at the painful jab of irate disbelief that arced out of Laurel. I rubbed my face where it felt like I’d been hit and threw a glare at Chloe. Normally she had my back in anything, but stand her in front of two terrifying monsters and she shoves me under the bus. Sheesh.

  Still trying to keep my composure, I swallowed, shifting my weight.

  “I think you have the wrong place, fellas. I’m a therapist. Unless you’ve got daddy issues or—are you married? Is there trouble in paradise?” They simply blinked at me, no sign that they got the joke. “So you’re not here to blame your mother for all your troubles with women?”

  “We are here for assistance,” Hardy said, addressing Chloe again. A spike of panic shot from her into my ribcage and it awoke some protective instinct in me I hadn’t realized I had. I waved my arm, trying to get his attention.

  “Hey, buddy. Over here! Leave her alone. Like she said, I’m the one with the powers. What do you want?” Hardy shuffled to face me and it made the floor creak beneath his feet. I eyed the carpet nervously, hoped the building had been constructed with monsters the size of adolescent elephants in mind. “If you’re waiting for us to offer you some sort of refreshments, you might as well leave. We don’t make coffee this late.”

  “You are the one we seek?” Hardy asked. He was gentle as he nudged Laurel aside to approach me, but Laurel seemed to take being moved as an insult. Something else was thrumming within him and, though it was different than the crackling of his other feelings, I didn’t like it any better.

  “In an ideal world, no, but you’re obviously here for a reason. What is it? And make it quick,” I said with a sniff. Maybe if I feigned disinterested confidence they’d just give up and go. It had worked for me with bad blind dates, after all. They glanced at each other and Laurel shifted. The emotion that was making me jittery snapped into focus; it felt like having a tuning fork pressed against my rib cage and I realized in an instant that he was nervous.

  �
��We have heard that you serve your mistress well,” Laurel began, making my eyebrows shoot up. I had a mistress? “We are mere scouts, here with a request for one as powerful as yourself.”

  “Scouts? Like Girl Scouts? Are you selling cookings?” Hardy blinked, his shoulders slumping slightly like I'd said something that offended him. I tried again. “Talent scouts? If you’re here about Monster Star Search, you’re out of luck. I haven’t got a single talent.”

  “As scouts,” Hardy said, in his tone making me think he appreciated my humor about as much as I parents had when I was thirteen. “We are under orders to visit human children to determine their importance to the Kingdom. When they are weak, useless, we leave them be. If they are powerful, we take them.”

  “Take them? Where?” I asked, the memory of my first meeting with these two suddenly flashing like a spike of lightning through my consciousness. It got harder to keep calm as I realized that, had my power not been simple empathy, I might not have grown up in my happy home with two parents and two siblings.

  Hardy’s brow furrowed and, even without his emotions to back it up, I got the feeling my question confused him. He didn’t answer, but kept after his mission.

  “The last three children we were to inspect had been taken before we arrive.”

  “Was it some sort of mix-up?” I asked. Laurel narrowed his eyes, getting unhappier with me every time I spoke up. I pressed on, even though sensing his disapproval was starting to feel like having hives on top of a sunburn. “I mean, maybe there was a double-booking and some coworkers got to the kids before you?”

  “Coworkers,” Laurel said as if tasting the word. “What is coworkers?”

  “I mean, some other… what are you?” They’d claimed to be scouts but I didn’t see any merit badges or cookies tucked in the pockets of Laurel’s coat. I doubted they’d have been accepted into any troop looking like they did, anyway.

  Laurel’s head snapped back, his offense hitting me like a truck. I grunted against the force of it, feeling for a second like I might lose my balance. Hardy stepped slightly forward, taking the lead while Laurel continued to bristle.

  “We are simple scouts without a singular bloodline and we understand we have no right to even stand in front of you, that you are being so gracious as to not punish us for the audacity of asking. Your reputation for leniency reaches far and your deeds are celebrated. For these reasons, we ask that you lend us your resources and aid us in finding these children. Had they made their way to the Queen, we would have been alerted. Should we not locate them and their powers prove too much to keep the balance, we shall be punished. We can offer you payment.”

  I couldn’t imagine what sort of payment they meant, but the idea didn’t appeal to me regardless.

  “I don’t… uh...” I trailed off, trying to decide what would be the best thing to say. These two had come to me when I was a child, menacing me and making snide comments about my “power level,” but judging me harmless and leaving me with a warning. Now here they were asking for my help. I needed to know more about why the tables had been turned. “Are you absolutely sure they were kidnapped? Maybe someone just got wise to your gig and hid them from you. I mean, if I knew you were coming when I was little, I would have holed up in a crawlspace until you went on your way. It can’t be on anyone’s bucket list to let you near their babies.”

  Another snap of frustration whipped out of Laurel to cut into my cheek, but there was a muddy edge of disgust in it. I straightened slightly, bitter at his reaction, and turned toward him, frowning. It took him only a moment to notice my expression and the nervous thrumming in him boomed like thunder as Hardy spoke.

  “They were taken, not hidden. We found chaos, panic, crying humans, but no trace of the children.”

  I squirmed slightly at the picture he painted. Crying humans and chaos meant missing kids to me. I had enough experience with parental panic to imagine how bad it could have been. My mother had nearly had a meltdown once when my brother Thomas had hidden too thoroughly in a hall closet. Three sets of parents finding out their children had been kidnapped would have been a million times worse.

  “Okay,” I said after a few moments, still stuck in the memory of my own mother’s anxiety. Pity for the missing children and their distraught parents was sloshing in my belly like I’d sucked down a gallon of olive oil; I was feeling more than a little sick.

  “We were assured you would be of help!” Laurel said when my silence stretched on. “Are you helping? Why do you not answer?”

  I looked his way as Hardy mumbled something I couldn’t understand and Laurel quieted. Begrudgingly, he lowered his head slightly as if he’d been chastised. His humiliation wasn’t any more pleasant to experience than any of his other emotions.

  I turned to Chloe, realizing the feeling of her was nearly lost against the riot of Laurel’s revolving psyche. She was watching me intently, fascinated and impressed, all worry over the appearance of our guests gone from her mind. I liked the way she was looking at me, actually. It was rare to surprise her, especially in such a positive way.

  I was pretty impressed with myself, come to think of it. Not ten minutes ago I’d wanted to pee my pants and hide under my desk. Now here I was being given the respect of two beasts that had haunted my nightmares since childhood. I latched onto her awe, using it to muffle the greasy pity and Laurel’s painful remorse.

  I took a deep breath, focusing on Chloe and on the fact that I’d been asked to help reunite three families. I considered my own fear as a child when I’d been confronted by these so-called scouts, and how awful it had to be for three kids who were taken from their families before they’d even been given a chance at being judged harmless and left in a sandbox.

  What if whatever had taken them was worse than these two? I might’ve been only hope these kids had. I couldn’t turn my back on them, not if there was anything at all I could do.

  “I’ll help,” I announced. I wasn’t sure how, or what, but something had to be done and I knew I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I didn’t at least try. Maybe I’d impress Chloe again and think of something brilliant that would save the day. These two certainly thought I had it in me; maybe they were right and I’d have the little ones home by the end of the week.

  “You are most gracious,” Hardy said, bowing low. Laurel followed suit, though I could feel how much he disliked doing so. “Your mistress has chosen wisely.”

  There was that mistress again. Did they mean Chloe? We weren’t dating, but maybe they had assumed differently. As if she knew I was thinking about her, Chloe spoke up.

  “What can you tell us about these kids? Names? Ages? Can you tell us what powers they have? We’re going to need something to go on besides the fact that they’re children.” She made a good point and I felt shame creep in to needle my pride until it started to deflate. I hadn’t even thought that far. So much for having a snap of brilliance that would save the day.

  Laurel tensed as if he might stand up but both he and Hardy remained bowed down like they were expecting me to behead them. Chloe gave it a beat before exasperation fizzed through her and she gestured at me to speak.

  “Uh, stand, answer her,” I said, at a loss as to what exactly they needed to hear. This time, they didn’t hesitate, focusing on me even though Chloe had been the one to ask the question.

  “We are told where to locate the children, but this time we found there were none present,” Hardy explained. “This has happened in the past, but three times in such a short span is not right. The balance between our world and the human world may be in danger. We have been unable to track the children and do not know how to make sure it is done, and discreet.”

  “And you were told I could do better?”

  “Your resources are vast. Your mistress passed along a list of your accomplishments when sending word we were to meet you.”

  “You spoke with my mistress?” I guess they didn’t mean Chloe after all. She likes messing with me sometimes,
but there was no way she’d been in on this beforehand.

  Laurel’s eyes bugged out so hard I thought they’d burst and get carried away on the ocean of panic that washed over him. As Laurel sputtered and began to shake as if he’d explode, Hardy clarified.

  “An emissary was sent to us. We dare not waste your mistress’s time with our presence. She called upon us. Please understand we did not mean to imply we have sway with her.”

  “No,” I shook my head, desperate to flush out Laurel’s tumultuous fear as it flapped through my chest like a bickering murder of crows. “I didn’t mean it like that, jeez.”

  Hardy’s square face pulled tight as he looked between us and I wondered if he was catching on to how unpleasant I found it to be near his partner.

  “We are sorry we could not be of more assistance, but surely you have connections and means that we can only dream of. If there is nothing else you require of us, we will take our leave.”

  I liked that idea. “Yeah, you can go. I just need to know how to contact you if I find anything.”

  Hardy winced, his massive shoulders hunching up around his neck. “You need not waste your breath. We will come when you need us.”

  “It’s that simple?” I asked. It couldn’t be that easy. I glanced at Chloe and then back. They weren’t there. “What the hell?”

  I did a quick turn, sweeping my gaze around the office, trying to figure out where they’d gone. The door hadn’t opened, the only window in the room was too small for even Chloe to get through, and I was pretty sure we didn’t have any trap doors under the rug. They couldn’t just be gone. Surely they’d blown up or been reduced to a puddle of some sort? When blinking and leaning forward to swipe my hand through the empty air where they’d been didn’t tell me anything, I turned to Chloe.

  “Where did they go? What the hell just happened?”

  She had a question of her own. “You have a mistress?”

  Chapter Three

  I hustled Chloe out of the office, shushing her when she tried to speak. I didn’t want to risk Laurel and Hardy coming back with more questions or the realization that I wasn’t who they thought I was. They seemed pretty scared of me, but if they figured out they’d just bowed and groveled before a lowly level three human who didn’t have a scary mistress, that would likely change. Laurel had already seemed halfway set on taking me out. I didn’t want to risk Hardy and his dangerous tusks feeling the same way. I didn’t relax until we were buckled into Chloe’s little sedan.